Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
