i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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