even my farts smell like vagina
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
