the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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