I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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