Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
