I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
