if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
