You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
