I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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