His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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