He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
