College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
