the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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