Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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