Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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