Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
