i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
