then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
