WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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