Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
