I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
