sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
