Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
