Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
