I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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