I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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