She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
