He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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