Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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