Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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