so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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