Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
