Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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