I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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