I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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