question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
