pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
