your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
