so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
