..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
