Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
