I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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