piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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