I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
