she takes plan B like it's going out of style
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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