cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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