Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
