absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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