If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
